20 March 2007

I am extremely frustrated and tired. I don't know what brought it on besides everything. I am sick of it all. It must be culture shock. I just can't handle things. It is too much work to take the girls anywhere, I get headaches, I don't know what to do about our house help (she cost too much), I get too frustrated with people, I have been very selfish... The good thing is I have been clinging to God. I try hard to spend time with Him. I was so thankful for my time in His Word and prayer today. I feel so much better and at peace when I stop, refocus on God, and tell Him everything.

I was so thankful for a nice quiet, fun afternoon with the girls. We had lunch and played at the pool. Then we went out at 3pm to stop at immigrations, I thought go to some shops or go to Lake Victory, and have supper. All went well until the end and the girl loose it and drive me crazy. Then I think it over...we went to immigrations, had to pay them at the bank downtown, sat in traffic, dropped off other papers, had supper and it all took 3 ½ hours! We did nothing in a very long 3 ½ hours! The poor girls, who can blame them. Now I feel guilty and terrible for putting our girls through these tough kid situations (it is tough for adults). Why didn't I just stay and enjoy the pool longer and have an easier meal at the hotel? I eat myself up over these things.

PLEASE, don't worry about me. This is my journal, my processing. I am fine. These are the realities of life in a foreign place. It can drive you crazy. I will keep relying on God. My thirsting for Him is a wonderful place to be.