Down Times

March 5, 2012

I shouldn’t be writing right now. I am not in a good mood. I am just in one of those, “I want to quit, get away from it all, and be alone” moods. Don’t ask why. I am trying desperately to be who I say I am today – God’s child. I am asking Him to help me praise Him through this discouragement, to be my contentment, joy and peace even when I am down, and to continue to trust in His promises. I know God is faithful and I am just whining today. Sorry for the bummer of a beginning but I just can’t help but be honest.

I don’t know if my girls sense my being down or if they are just a lot like me, but they too had a hard day. Lydia cried and told me how much she missed Grandma, how sad she was that her cousin Reka was already walking and would be almost two the next time we see her, and how there is nothing exciting here to do. How she was voicing my feelings. I just held her and talked about it. It is true and it hurts sometimes. We also talked about how blessed we really are and have nothing to complain about. We talked about how we need to find our contentment in God not in this world or people. He is our joy and peace. And I told her that God promises that when we leave our families and homes to go somewhere to share Jesus He will give us a hundred times more blessings. Then we prayed. I am not sure it helped my girls but it was a good reminder to me to practice what I preach.

Last Friday we had a really fun first ever Team Beyond women’s retreat. It started at Soroti Hotel for lunch then moved to our teammate’s house. We decided to stay in Soroti this time since we have a nursing mother and it takes two hours to get to the nearest hotel. There were eight women on the retreat so needless to say we did a ton of talking! Everyone was just thankful to be together, with no kids, and no schedule. We began by soaking our feet while sipping on frappes and listening to a funny and inspirational testimony from a former Mrs. America. That led to great conversation and our own testimonies. After the pedicures were done, it was time for supper. We had appetizers and desserts! The rest of the night we played a game, watched a movie, and of course talked – some of us till four in the morning! When do we ever get to do these kinds of things? We slept in and had a wonderful breakfast with strong coffee. We relaxed all morning until it was time to pack up and head home to our families. I am so thankful for friends to be open and share with. To have relax and laugh with. To challenge and encourage. What a gift from God.

It always takes me awhile to get back into life after a retreat, but I was thankful to come home to a loving husband and happy family.

At church Sunday Luka was dancing his heart out with the other kids during singing. It was one of those moments I just long to share with our parents and family. I want them to know and see us in our world and life here. This is who we are. Oh well…

I was really touched Sunday when Charles was praying for mission work in Sudan and he began to cry. I have never seen a man cry here (not even at a funeral). I was amazed at his heart for missions, for the lost. This is huge! I have never seen it in another Ugandan. This is what Josh has been praying for. Charles has God’s heart. I really believe God is going to use Chares, maybe with Josh and our family, to do missions. I don’t know but I praise God for Chares tears for the lost.

Better go. Please don’t worry about us even thought I shared with you our discouragement. Just pray for us for renewed joy and peace. God is with us!