Monday, May 13, 2013

Funeral


May 12, 2013

Here I am again with a full heart.  I’m weary.  I am so thankful for all of your encouragement and many, many prayers!  There is just too much going on.  My strength and comfort are in the Lord alone.  He is my help and peace.

Grace’s funeral was Friday.  There were probably over 500 people there.  Her poor daughters just lost it every once and a while and wailed over their mother’s coffin calling out for her.  It is exactly how I would have reacted if I lost my mother at their age.  And for them there is no one else who loves them and cares for them.  That’s why the whole funeral made me mad.  We sat there hearing from each family member say’ “praise God, we loved Grace, we need to pray…” when I knew it was all bull.  It was all talk.  Most of the family has never been there and have abused each other more than anything.  I found out all seven children are Grace’s (not nieces too).  Grace’s first husband refused to let their kids know she was alive but when they did he threatened to kill them for going to see her.  And guess who showed up to the funeral with tears and words of sorrow?  Yes, the first husband.  I wanted to throw-up.  The poor kids.  I am sure they feared they would be given back to him.  Our former guard, Grace’s sister, also showed up.  She had run with the money we gave her and left her children.  At the funeral she announced she had a new husband (stays with a man).  Josh and I were so upset with her we told her that the Bible says if anyone does not take care of their family they are worse than an unbeliever (Timothy).  She said she cannot stay without a man, she needs a man (very cultural thinking here).  We told her it is wrong and she will be judged.  She told us the man is born again and we told her it wasn’t showing in his or her lives if they refused to care for the children.  She is willing to leave her children!!!  I was so mad.  Josh also went up and challenged the first husband with the same verse from Timothy and that he needed to pay for their education.  I did not think we were going to a funeral to confront and correct people but when they claim to be Christian and live in sin we have every right as believers to warn them. 

After 3 hours of introductions from people like this I told Angie they better not give me the microphone!  To top it off Tabitha was at the funeral.  Tabitha is our former house help (good friend) who was stealing.  We haven’t gotten to see her yet and this was not the place I wanted to.  I decided to hug her but was shocked when through tears she blamed me for not coming to see her and for doing this to her.  To her?!  I was so upset.  I did not want all these negative emotions at my friends funeral.  I was so done.

Finally after about 4 or so hours, Grace was laid to rest.  I think it is one of the hardest parts to see the coffin lowed into the ground and know our friend is really gone.  How we will miss Grace.  I feel for Tim and Angie and their children who will feel it every day.  For Grace’s children who know it will never be the same.  Please continue to pray for all of them.  We are thankful the grandmother has agreed to stay with Grace’s children but there is a long road ahead of them.  I think we should also pray for this family and clan that are entangled in sin.  I know God is speaking to my heart and removing the anger as I pray for my “enemies”.  They need to know the Lord.  This alone should cause me to pray to pray for them.

We are thankful for our friends in Obulle.  They brought us such encouragement in our sorrow.  Josh taught the day after Grace’s death and the people are just changed by Christ.  They genuinely felt for us, they stopped and prayed for her children, and later came to the funeral just because they love us.  They are why we are here.  Their transformation makes it all worth it.

One more thought, maybe this sounds weird to some of you but when Grace was sick and then died for the first time I wrestled with praying for a miracle of healing – I mean even asking God to raise her back to life.  I am not trying to scare any of you, but the Word of God is clear that He is all powerful, He healed and raised people from the dead, and we are in Christ and have His power and authority.  I have always been comfortable with the fact that I pray knowing God can but may choose not to.  And that night I did pray with faith that God can heal Grace.  But can I pray with authority, “Grace be healed?”  Or am I embarrassed because God may not heal her and then what.  I really don’t know I am just asking what went through my head.  Then when she died and I as on the way to the hospital I still felt God can still do His thing.  It is not impossible for God to give her life again.  And I did pray that prayer, but was I called to pray it over her with others present?  Was I too worried I would pray it and nothing would happen?  Sad to say I got home with regret.  I know nothing depends on me and God can do it without my prayer, but was I obedient?  Are we all suppose to be praying knowing God can?  It may not be His will to heal or give life again.  Or is that our excuse?   Are we called or told by God in the moment to speak those words?  Or could it be our lack of faith?  I really don’t know.  I just know I always pray for God’s healing, for His power and work to be done but that night I wondered for the first time if God was calling me to do more?     

Lastly, I want to thank you again for mourning with us, praying, and sending encouragement.  I know God is saying in the mists of it all, “Be still and know that I am God” and I can rest in that.  The verse continues, “I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in all the earth” that is a promise I will hold on to.  


At the grave

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