Here I am again with a
full heart. I’m weary. I am so thankful for all of your
encouragement and many, many prayers!
There is just too much going on.
My strength and comfort are in the Lord alone. He is my help and peace.
Grace’s funeral was Friday. There were probably over 500 people
there. Her poor daughters just lost it
every once and a while and wailed over their mother’s coffin calling out for
her. It is exactly how I would have
reacted if I lost my mother at their age.
And for them there is no one else who loves them and cares for
them. That’s why the whole funeral made
me mad. We sat there hearing from each
family member say’ “praise God, we loved Grace, we need to pray…” when I knew
it was all bull. It was all talk. Most of the family has never been there and
have abused each other more than anything.
I found out all seven children are Grace’s (not nieces too). Grace’s first husband refused to let their kids
know she was alive but when they did he threatened to kill them for going to
see her. And guess who showed up to the
funeral with tears and words of sorrow?
Yes, the first husband. I wanted
to throw-up. The poor kids. I am sure they feared they would be given
back to him. Our former guard, Grace’s
sister, also showed up. She had run with
the money we gave her and left her children.
At the funeral she announced she had a new husband (stays with a
man). Josh and I were so upset with her
we told her that the Bible says if anyone does not take care of their family
they are worse than an unbeliever (Timothy).
She said she cannot stay without a man, she needs a man (very cultural
thinking here). We told her it is wrong
and she will be judged. She told us the
man is born again and we told her it wasn’t showing in his or her lives if they
refused to care for the children. She is
willing to leave her children!!! I was
so mad. Josh also went up and challenged
the first husband with the same verse from Timothy and that he needed to pay
for their education. I did not think we
were going to a funeral to confront and correct people but when they claim to
be Christian and live in sin we have every right as believers to warn
them.
After 3 hours of
introductions from people like this I told Angie they better not give me the
microphone! To top it off Tabitha was at
the funeral. Tabitha is our former house
help (good friend) who was stealing. We
haven’t gotten to see her yet and this was not the place I wanted to. I decided to hug her but was shocked when
through tears she blamed me for not coming to see her and for doing this to
her. To her?! I was so upset. I did not want all these negative emotions at
my friends funeral. I was so done.
Finally after about 4 or
so hours, Grace was laid to rest. I
think it is one of the hardest parts to see the coffin lowed into the ground
and know our friend is really gone. How
we will miss Grace. I feel for Tim and
Angie and their children who will feel it every day. For Grace’s children who know it will never
be the same. Please continue to pray for
all of them. We are thankful the
grandmother has agreed to stay with Grace’s children but there is a long road
ahead of them. I think we should also
pray for this family and clan that are entangled in sin. I know God is speaking to my heart and
removing the anger as I pray for my “enemies”.
They need to know the Lord. This
alone should cause me to pray to pray for them.
We are thankful for our
friends in Obulle. They brought us such
encouragement in our sorrow. Josh taught
the day after Grace’s death and the people are just changed by Christ. They genuinely felt for us, they stopped and
prayed for her children, and later came to the funeral just because they love
us. They are why we are here. Their transformation makes it all worth it.
One more thought, maybe
this sounds weird to some of you but when Grace was sick and then died for the
first time I wrestled with praying for a miracle of healing – I mean even
asking God to raise her back to life. I
am not trying to scare any of you, but the Word of God is clear that He is all
powerful, He healed and raised people from the dead, and we are in Christ and
have His power and authority. I have
always been comfortable with the fact that I pray knowing God can but may
choose not to. And that night I did pray
with faith that God can heal Grace. But
can I pray with authority, “Grace be healed?”
Or am I embarrassed because God may not heal her and then what. I really don’t know I am just asking what
went through my head. Then when she died
and I as on the way to the hospital I still felt God can still do His
thing. It is not impossible for God to give
her life again. And I did pray that
prayer, but was I called to pray it over her with others present? Was I too worried I would pray it and nothing
would happen? Sad to say I got home with
regret. I know nothing depends on me and
God can do it without my prayer, but was I obedient? Are we all suppose to be praying knowing God
can? It may not be His will to heal or
give life again. Or is that our
excuse? Are we called or told by God in the moment to
speak those words? Or could it be our
lack of faith? I really don’t know. I just know I always pray for God’s healing,
for His power and work to be done but that night I wondered for the first time
if God was calling me to do more?
Lastly, I want to thank
you again for mourning with us, praying, and sending encouragement. I know God is saying in the mists of it all,
“Be still and know that I am God” and I can rest in that. The verse continues, “I will be exalted among
the nations, I will be exalted in all the earth” that is a promise I will hold
on to.
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| At the grave |
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