Paradox

I have talked about paradox a lot lately. Paradox is learning to hold two different things at once. Being ok with feeling two different emotions. Embracing "and" instead of "but". Life is full of joy and sadness, gain and loss, love and hate, hope and grief, hello and goodbyes...but life on the mission field is FULL of them! Change is a big part of mission life and with change comes loss and gain, sadness and excitement. Sometimes my heart doesn't feel big enough to handle both extreme emotions, but it is ok to feel both. To live in the paradox.

Our Lydia is leaving us, her home, and country she grew up in. This is good news! Very exciting and an answer to prayer. God has done a healing work in Lydia and has now called her to DTS with YWAM in South Africa. A testimony for God's glory! We are so proud of her and look forward to seeing how God is going to grow in her, use her and lead her. After five month of discipleship and outreach, Lydia will be home for about a month before she heads Stateside to attend Moody Bible College the end of August.

That is a lot of change for her and our family. Like I said, it is so good and right...but it is also a loss. Our family is tight. We are together everyday in the village. Almost every meal is shared together, homeschool together, church and ministry is often done together, games and fun times in the evening together, holidays, travels...we have shared life together and we love it. So letting go is hard. Good but hard. Lydia is such an asset to our family and home. We will all miss her love, peace making, helping in everyway, playing, interaction, involvement, kindness, easy going nature... Makai adores Lydia and will feel the loss the most. She plays with him for hours each week. She loves him beyond words! Emalai is already teary. Lydia has taught Emalai the last year and a half and is so kind to Emalai. Grace is going to miss her friend and partner in ministry and life here. Luka will miss all her help in school and around the house. And her hugs! Life is going to be different. I always tell my kids hard and different aren't bad or wrong. And can be good and right for us.

Leaving for Lydia is the start to a final leaving of her home, family, and the country she grew up in, know and loves. Means way more than when I went off to college! And so there is both excitement and grieving going on. I hurt when they hurt. And I rejoice with them with God has called them.

If you can't tell, I am super proud of my kids! I am amazed watching them live here! They have done more than I ever did at their age. Hard things. I love that they, even as teenagers and beyond, play games together, help each other, and do ministry. The fact that overall they love it here, love their home and have genuine friends here - actually amazing life long friendships - and even want to be missionaries is a huge testimony to how amazing our kids are and have done living on the mission field. They go to youth group every Saturday and sometimes lead the lesson. This is not American youth group people! They love church and are involved. They look forward to every youth conference, church conference, outreach and crusade, football matches (soccer), prison ministry in Karamoja... These are not always easy things. It can be hot, long, people staring or in your space, food isn't great and late, latrines for bathrooms, did I mention hot and long? But our kids do it - and love it! Amazing. They are accepted, known and received in this community and they love that. They are one of them. And that is why I am so proud of them and love watching them live here so well!

It's a constant love/hate relationship. I so love and value our lives here - and I don't. I can't wait to go somewhere and be in Michigan and normal again - and then I want nothing to do with being there. For example, right now I am having a very good season in the village. I am treasuring this sweet time. I look at the calendar and see all the guests, travels and conferences coming up and almost panic that we will be leaving for Michigan already in July. That isn't my home. But there are days here that I long for a social life, entertainment, cooler temps, beauty, some where to go and something to do, comforts and not to have to collect my shower water to flush my toilet! More than that some days I am so frustrated with the culture and God's children not changing or growing...and I want to give up or at least take a break. Love and hate. That is why I have to remain focused right where God has me. That way I can handle the ups and downs emotionally and trust the One who has me right here, right now. My life is His. And the future belongs to Him. So thankful God understands my paradox.

Here are a few pictures from our life this past few weeks:

Weather it's hard or great, we get to do it together!

Luka's 15th birthday!
We love you so much!

Our amazing Grace helped her friend deliver her baby boy!

I was so proud of her and thankful for an incredible (and hard) experience.

Read all about it on Graces' blog:

https://graceshaardablog.blogspot.com/2024/01/the-miracle-of-life.html

Luka and friends eating jackfruit.

The youth at church grew maize to raise money for their group.
Makai "helped" the day they shucked the maize.

The girls were in a traditional marriage.
They got ready in a very crowded, hot little house for hours before they're part!
We heard it was so long because the families couldn't agree on the bride price. :(

Beautiful!

Lydia and the bride.

Let the fun begin!

My three teens (ok one is 20 now).
I love seeing them do life here together. Here they are after along day of outreach. They were waiting for their dad to be done teaching on the radio. There is always a reason to take fun pictures!
And they just happen to all match that day!

UCFM church outreach

Luka's group going out to do evangelism.

Praise the Lord for new life in Christ!

Crusade in the trading center in evening.
(There was so much dust everyone came home with colds!)

My favorite preacher!

God bless you Lydia as you go seek and serve the Lord!!! You are loved!

Speaking of paradox - as Lydia leaving, my parents and Achia along with Brian and Nancee arrive! That's a lot of happy and sad. Pray for them as they come and spend 3 weeks in our lives.

Oh sorry one more thing just for laughs!