September 7 -- Giving

September 7

I was so excited the other day when I really felt God talk to me and teach me. I was doing my devotions and God clearly spoke to me about giving. I really struggle with giving especially here where we are surrounded by need, are always being asked, and once you give they only come back for more. I have been realizing what a selfish person I really am and that I don’t like who I am, how I respond when people ask me for something (money). Yet, all over in God’s Word it talks about giving and caring for the poor and needy. What do I do with all that? How do I apply it here in Soroti yet keep it under control? Some missionaries say you just have to have a hard heart – jokingly some what I think. But God had something to show me in His Word.

I was reading from Luke 6: 27-36 where it says,
- “give to everyone who asks you” (vs. 30)
- lend without expecting to be repaid (vs. 34)
- “THEN your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” (vs. 35-36) Did you hear that he is kind to who the ungrateful and wicked. Not those who are grateful and kind.

After I read this I wanted to dig deeper to see what else God had to say about giving. I read the footnotes and other references. That led me to Deut. 15: 7-11 that says,
n vs. 7 do not be hard hearted or tight fisted. (I am)
n vs. 8 be openhanded and freely lend. (not me)
n vs. 9 careful not to harbor wicked thoughts (when giving). (I have)
n vs. 10 be generous, without a grudging heart, THEN God will bless you in all you do.
If that wasn’t enough I read Proverbs 21:13 and 26,
“If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.” And “the righteous give without sparing.”

Wow, I was so convicted after read all of this. I have sinned. I give grudgingly, I am not openhanded or give without sparing, I want to be repaid… I needed to repent. God, I am sorry. I don’t know how to put this all into practice here but I want you to teach me. Help me. It is so easy for me to give reasons why I don’t want to give to this person or to that but as God pointed out to me in the footnotes that many people think that being poor is somehow the fault of the person and that kind of reasoning makes it easy to ignore the poor. We are not to make reasons, excuses, or ignore we are called to give, to be merciful, to help, and to love.

I am not sure how you give to everyone openhandedly, but I do know I need to learn to give with a right heart. It isn’t mine money, it is God’s./ I need to learn to hold on a little looser. Nothing is mine it is all a gift from God that I am responsible to manage well FOR HIS KINGDOM (not for me). I want to obey God. I will listen closely to what He wants me to do. My attitude is really what needs to change. I want to give out of love and mercy not because I have to or should. I know now that every excuse is just that, an excuse. I need forgiveness. God is so merciful and good to me. Thank you God for teaching me your ways and allowing me to know Your heart of love.