A culture full of lies?

January 27

I am so sad and upset. It looks like one of our friends, who we love and trust, took money from us while we were gone. The whole thing is a mess and so disappointing. Josh was really upset that he forgot to put those two things in the safe while we were gone. He did have the draw locked but figured out you just have to take the drawer above it out to get to the locked draw. Yes, we should have but the fact still remains they did it. I just can’t believe it. Part of me tries to remember that I have no idea what it is like to be in great need and desperate. But it is still wrong, a sin committed. I trusted this person. I think I am really hurt. Has this ruined our friendship? How can we move on? There is a lot to figure out yet and then we have to deal with it all. They doesn’t know we know yet.

The good thing is I still love and appreciate this person. I am more mad at this culture. It is really true that you cannot trust anyone here! We have dealt with it since we moved here and people tell us over and over again that you can't trust people here. I am such a trusting person and it is getting really hard for me to live here. How can people, a culture, survive on lies and deceit? It is wrong! The worse part is that you can’t tell Christian from non in trusting people. Now that is sinful. How can the church ever grow or prosper when it is full of lies? How can we minister here when we can’t trust anyone? How can I live here, make friends, trust? It is so upsetting to me.

Then once again God speaks softly to me, “That’s how I feel. That is how I have been treated too.” Wow. Look at scripture. God’s Word begins with the fall. Adam and Eve lied to God and broke trust. God’s chosen people disobeyed and lied over and over again. In the New Testament they missed Jesus and lied to kill Him. Today we continue with messing up and rejecting the truth. We deceive ourselves, others, and try to deceive God all the time. Do we see lying as a sin anymore? God, I am sorry. Please bring us back to Your ways. As I mourn the sin of this culture may I remember You still love. We have sinned yet you still love us and want us. You have grace – mercy. Give me Your heart of love and mercy. As you teach me use me to teach others.

We feel a bit attacked since we came back. We have had to deal with three different issues in two weeks time. I am sure it is satan’s way of discouraging us and keeping us from doing ministry. It is okay, just means God is with us and has plans to use us. Keep praying for us. Thanks!

Now on to other news. Last night I answered Josh’s phone only to hear Magaji, a friend from Mahula the village in Nigeria where we use to be missionaries. He spoke Tsuva’di so it took me a minute to respond. I was so excited to hear his voice and speak to him. How cool that our friends in a little village in Nigeria can now call us. It just makes me smile.

Luka has been taking a lot of steps. It is such a fun age. I love his jabbering. He also gives kisses when you tell him you love him (wide open mouth kisses). He is even doing the motions to the girls Bible verses they learn at night. Can you believe what a one year old can do? We Skyped with my parents Sunday for the first time since we got back but Luka just couldn’t handle it. His lip started to quiver and he started to cry when he saw and heard his grandparents. He buried his head in my chest and just peeked every once and a while. I felt so bad. It was like he was saying, I know them but they left me now I see them but can’t get to them. He does love and miss you all – we all do.

The kids and I walked to Amecet today. It is a place I dread and love. I love the kids but find it so hard to handle the suffering. Today was no different. I am sure this sounds like the same old, but every time it is a new child with a similar story and they all grip me. It becomes personal when you hold the child who has suffered or is going back to suffering. I can’t just let it go as a story – it is real and I care. Today we saw a few new born babies whose mothers died in birth. Happens all the time and shouldn’t be in this day and age. There were twins whose mother left them at the police. People found the mother and beat her. The twins are supposed to go back to her sometime but they say the mother isn’t right in the head. The whole thing sounded sad to me as I held one of the twins. Maybe the mother is desperate because the father left or maybe she is disabled yet they beat her. Who is helping her? What a mess really. We also met Irene who is 5 ½ years old and so malnourished she looks like she is 3. And of course Julius, who is about Luka’s age and has been at Amecet for almost a year. He is so sweet yet there is no home or family for him. Then I look at my very healthy, happy kids and think that is how kids are suppose to be. I can’t believe how blessed we are. Yup, I love and appreciate Amecet but it is never easy on my heart.