Grieving

Achia died peacefully yesterday (April 17). She's with Jesus at last.

Yesterday began like a normal day in ICU with Achia. Dad and Mom have stayed overnight with Achia since last week Friday. My sisters went up to be there for the doctor visit and let our parents go for breakfast. Doctor said there were no near death signs and the still said hours to days but wouldn't say today. Same as we heard all week. 

But doctors aren't God.

About 15 minutes later Achia's breathing changed. Dad and Mom sat next to her and whispered, go Achia. Do you see Jesus.

And Achia peacefully breathed her last breath.

God's mercy. She was peaceful, it was quick and my parents were with her.

I got the call that her breathing changed and Josh and I were out the door. (It was the only day this week we hadn't gone up by then...) On the way Achia died.

It was a long, hard, last walk up to that hospital room. And then the grieving began.

I read that your grieving is equal to how much you loved. And we all loved a whole lot.

But my parents loved Achia like no one else loved her. To see them cry over their little girl was heartwrenching. 

Most of my siblings and their spouses were together in the hospital room grieving with our parents. It was a beautiful mix of sorrow and loss, worship and prayer, hope and heaven, remembering and goodbyes. Jesus took Achia home but He didn't leave us. He still grieved with us.

Achia saw for the first time and she saw the Savior. She spoke for the first time and it was praise. She can eat again after 3 weeks with no stomach. She has a new body. No disabilities, no seizures. New life, real life - forever.

The pain of leaving...final goodbye...is just too much. Honestly, I wanted to yell no, stop, I hate this, can't be true! Oh God. I am thankful we were together and went through it together. It was sad walk out of the hospital.

Going home to tell our kids...another grieving. No one knew what to do with themselves. How do you move on. Most of the Beute family gathered together for supper, to be together. 

Pray for my parents. Their loss is so great, their arms so empty, house so quiet, hearts so broken. Everything in their lives has just changed. May the only One who knows and can mend their hearts meet them in their time of need - in every moment of their grieving. 

I couldn't be more honored to be with my parents in this journey. They have taught us so much once again.

I love you Achia and God does too!