Birthday & Burial

April 7, 2008

We have a new pool. It is big enough that we can all fit in it and the girls need swimmies on when it is full. We have really been enjoying it so far. We go for a swim in the late afternoon as a family to cool off and play before supper. We haven’t had rain for about 5 days again so it has been hot. Tim had a cement slab made out back for the pool and has planted some palm trees too. It is our oasis.

We celebrated Josh’s 30th birthday! It began with a date night on Friday. Then Saturday the girls and I decorated the house with 30 birthday notes, streamers, and balloons. We made omelets for breakfast – one of Josh’s favorites. Tim, Angie, and family came for supper to celebrate. We had bar-b-q meatballs, green bean casserole, fried potatoes, and applesauce – Josh’s kind of meal. And of course, chocolate cake and ice cream for dessert. The girls and I made Josh cards and birthday certificates. After the girls went to bed, the adults played cards. Although we didn’t have any great gifts or places to go, we had a fun time celebrating Josh’s birthday. We made it special. We are SO thankful Josh and want him to know how much we love him.

Faith, the lady from our church who has HIV and I just wrote about in our newsletter, died Saturday morning. It was only 5 months ago she found out she had HIV. I went to the funeral or burial in the village on Sunday. I took Maggie and a few neighbors who sold with Faith at market. The rest of our church members and all of Faith’s relatives rented a couple trucks and piled them high with people to get to the village. When we arrived Pastor Francis and Pastor Patrick were giving a message. There were people everywhere sitting under tarps listening – and some sleeping. The sun was hot under the tarps. I bet there were over 200 people there. Most were sitting but others were cooking, getting water, preparing the grave, or just busy with kids and visitors. Maggie led me to view the body. The coffin sat in the middle of all the people with Faith’s mother and sisters sitting next to it. There was a handkerchief over her mouth (which is what they do here) and a white clothe over her body. She looked as thin and sick as the last time I saw her. The message ended but the men were not finished digging the grave so the pastors just continued talking until they got the okay. Just before the burial they announced one last time to view the body. Women began to wail. It is such an eerie sound. Some just sobbed. My tears began to well up. Death is so sad. There is nothing like seeing your loved one forever covered in dirt. It brought me back to the other deaths we had walked through with our friends in Mahula. It is so hard. While the crying continued singing began, songs of hope in the mist of sadness. Christians finding comfort in their faith in God. It was beautiful. God was there. Holding the hurting, bringing His peace, and assuring us of our hope.
Then a few men put ropes around the coffin and carried it to the grave. The pastor read a few verses then they again lifted the coffin and lowered it into the grave. But it didn’t fit so out it came again and they began to dig a little more. Just as a cultural side note, the coffins here have a window where the face of the person is. I am not sure what they need to see but it is there. Finally, the coffin was in place and slowly everyone walked away as the men finished the job.
We then talked with Stella, Faith’s sister who goes to our church. She was the one who cared for Faith and for Faith’s two small children. I almost got mad as I looked around at 200 people who came to the funeral because they “cared” about Faith but none of them help one bit when she was sick and dying. How sad. I also saw Faith’s 6 year old daughter and 3 year old son. I feel SO bad for them. How confused they must be, scared, and maybe angry. Stella and Maggie wondered if the kids knew. I assured them the kids know. They saw her sick, hear people talk, and now saw her dead. They may not understand or be able to communicate it but they are hurting. I wish someone would sit down and talk with them. I wish there was something I could do but they don’t even speak English.
The funeral ended by serving food to everyone. Can you imagine serving food to 200 people when you have to walk to get every drop of water, the nearest market is a few miles away, and you cook it all over a fire. They served us posho and beef. I still can’t believe how much some people eat and the pieces of “meat” they eat. (I am so spoiled!) After we ate we loaded up the van with people. Stella and Faith’s kids came back with us too. The kids were crying when they had to go. My heart broke. This is when I met the father for the first time. He is the one who didn’t help his wife in anyway – no care, not even money. He was even mean and has not cared for his children either. I asked him if he was coming home because his children need him. He said he would. We will see.
It was a day of bumpy roads and lots of emotions. It left me tired. I pray that somehow through Faith’s death this family will know God more.