Undivided

 I don't know how to write about what goodbyes, transitions, and living in two different worlds means to a missionary.  I don't even know how to feel about leaving two girls behind at college now.  I feel for them crying and saying goodbye, getting calls and messages of them crying, feeling they have no home.  There is grieving, again.  Grieving the losses, the change.  It isn't that we don't want to go back to Uganda and serve the Lord, it's just hard.   And it's hard for the girls to do college with their family a world away.  

Hard doesn't mean wrong.  I say this a lot to myself and now my children.  It is in the hard things that we learn, grow, have faith, trust God and experience Him.  It's where God wants us to be, dependent on Him, even desperate for Him. 

Today before the sorting and packing, God spoke to me.

What I mean, brothers, is the time is short...those who buy something, live as if it were not theirs to keep, those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them.  For this world in its present form will pass away.

I would like you to be free from concern...I'm saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in the right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

1 Corth. 7:29-35

This was exactly what I needed.  I feel it with living in two worlds and serving the Lord.  Paul challenges me to once again live an undivided life for the Lord.  Undivided, focused, on purpose, simple...  

I love the words Paul uses.  Buy as if you can't keep it (so true as a I sort, give away and pack!).  Use the worlds things but do not be engrossed = having all ones attention or interest absorbed by something!  It won't last.  I want you to be free!  Free of concern, worry, anxiety these things bring.  He says it for our good.  Live the right way.  With an undivided heart, devoted to God.

Ahhh...truth.  

I like looking at other translations of a passage.

...be devoted to the Lord without distraction. vs. 35 HCSB

I want you to be free from anxieties. vs. 32 ESV

...time is of essence...don't complicate your lives unnecessarily.  Keep it simple. vs 29 MSG

Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them.  vs 31 NLT

I really needed that reminder.  As we leave one home for another home, pack, sort, say bye, "sacrifice", even think about how much easier, better, nice, tempting it would be to have our own home in Michigan...  No.  It would divide my devotion to the Lord and His work.  That's the truth.  Live free of concern - how?  By knowing everything is temporary and live whole heartedly for God.  Undivided!  It's for my good.

God give me an undivided heart for You.  When I feel divided between worlds, homes, family, cultures, things, loves...put my focus back on You and Your mission in this world.  Nothing is mine.  I want to live free.  Without the worry of things.  Thank you for showing me again in this season that my heart belongs to You and no other.  That's freedom!

 I'm not sure this makes sense and how it brings peace to my mission life, but it does.  God gave me His Truth to hold onto in the hard.  An undivided heart for Him.  That's enough.  He's all I need.  Especially as we go.