Friday, February 3, 2023

Wedding Number One

It is dry season here, school is out and so that means it is wedding season.  We are thrilled that three young people from our churches have decided to get married and be wed.  Marriage and having a wedding are two different things here.  Basically, marriage is a cultural thing including dowry and wedding is a church thing.  Our church (as in all the UCFM churches) has not had a church wedding of young people since 2003.  Sadly, most young people just get pregnant and then they are "married".  So that is why we were thrilled to have our first young people do marriage God's way and have a wedding!  We pray this is just the start to change.

Each marriage had three events. The first event is the introduction where the families are introduced to each other I guess, but they mostly already know each other. Sometimes this event is the negotiation of dowry but sometimes that is done separately.  All events consist of loud speakers, music, and food.  

The second event is the cultural marriage or "give away" as they seem to be calling it now.  This is kind of a wedding reception Ugandan style.  A big event is at the bride's house with hundreds of people, music, an MC, food (rice pilau always), maids (bridesmaids), gifts...  It is suppose to start at 10am but really started around 2pm. (: 

The third event is the wedding at the church.  A mix of an American and Ugandan wedding traditions.

Each event takes a budget and rising money from your clan (relatives), friends, the church, and any other possible giver!  Sad to say the cost is what is keeping many youth from getting married.  We keep trying to help them see ways to make weddings doable, but change is hard to come by.  This traditional marriage or give away part had a budget of over 7million Ugandan shillings.  (I'm not even sure what that is in dollars.  But for people who can't come up with 15,000ush for outreach, it is a lot!)  Anyways, no one expects to get what they hope for in the budget but it doesn't hurt to try.  I know world wide weddings are big bucks and I love a great, special wedding as much as anyone, I just don't want money to cause people to not get married.     

Between all three events we now have literally hundreds of pictures to share with you...but don't worry we will only share a few.  Enjoy! 

The invitation to the introduction. 
Like the cows?! An interesting cultural touch.  That tells you it is about dowry - the bride price.

The Introduction for Agumo and Emma

Arrival of the father of the bride.  Actually, the bride-to-be does not even go to the introduction.

Lydia and Grace were in the give away of their friend Agumo.
Lydia is in the traditional Ateso cloth and Grace wore a traditional gomesi (go mez).
Everyone loved seeing Grace in a gomesi!  Josh called her amojong, meaning old woman, because other than these events it is older women who wear gomesi.

Getting ready
There is a lot of material in a gomesi!  It is an art putting it on.

Got it!  Thanks Kristine!
Bride Agumo with Emalai.
Agumo waited hours in the house for her time to enter the give away party.

Ready and waiting...

As they waited, the guests were entertained with music and dancing.

Lydia's group entered first.  The groom's family had to look for and find Agumo.

Grace and the gomesi crew ready to go out.


See the bride?  The groom found her too!


Makai joined Grace on the way out.
Luka endured the party with his friends and they all helped to watch Makai.
Luka borrowed the cowboy hat from a friend.  He only wished he had his grandpa's cowboy boots!



The church wedding day!
Grace, Lydia and some of their friends in the wedding.

Their beautiful dresses were rented for 10,000ush each (about $2.50)!


Emalai and Katie (she is getting married next week) at the wedding.
They had to use tents because the church is a small grass thatched church.

The bridal party arriving.  Grace rode with the bride in the rented car.

The maids entering the wedding. 
Everyone dances down the aisle going slowly two steps forward and one step back.



Praying for the bride and groom after their vows.
(No kissing in public in this culture.  That is strictly for the bedroom.)

Josh preached.  He gave a great message on God's plan for marriage; leave your parents, be united, and become one.  He used the local food atap as their reminder of flour and water mingled together to become one.  It can no longer be separated.
(By the way, Josh is one of three or four ordained Reverends in UCFM churches and technically only Reverends can marry, do communion, baptize, and dedicate children here.)

See Luka?  Lots of people!

The wedding party going out to change clothes before the gifts and meal.





There are many dresses to a wedding here!


Dancing their way back in!

This is how Makai felt about it all...it was a long, hot day with lots of people!

Taking a break away from it all.

Oh what fun!



In case I didn't mention it, it was 100degrees or more at this lovely wedding!  I was about to loose it.  We could not get enough to drink and it was so dry none of us needed to find the latrine.  I just laughed thinking about weddings in America and how we are so worried about someone fainting, eating before the service, and don't close your eyes when we pray or lock your knees...  Everyone here just endures!  Guys in suits, "lunch" at 5pm, not enough water, hours long...in 100degree temps!  And no one complained but me I think.  Oops... It took me days to recover.  I was exhausted.  And next week we get to do it all again with wedding number two! 
I am thankful we could be there and a part of the wedding!  I am proud of the youth doing marriage God's way.  I remember the youth conference we focused on purity and God's plan for marriage and the many times we talked about it in youth group.  To see a couple of them fulfill their commitment to God is very special.  Praise God!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Beautiful pictures!!! What gorgeous color and finery!! But I'm sure you must be exhausted!! Hope you can "catch your breath" and get back to a normal setting - altho I know your life is anything but normal. Glad to hear you went on a safari - brings back memories.