Sorrow and Love

 I can't begin to explain the emotional roller coaster we're on.

So beautiful and sorrow. Holy and grieving. Precious and agony.

Last night Achia surprised us while singing the doxology around her bed with her I'm happy and content hand tap. We'd thought we'd never see it again. Then she blessed us with her form of a kiss. We had Achia again! 

But we don't... Seeing our Achia again made the pain of letting go so much harder! The process of dying is horrible. Waiting, questions, unknowns. Not too long Lord, but not today.

I cried before the Lord today. I wanted answers, I needed assurance. I feel Him say, I'm here. I'm in this.

I see my dad hurting, wrestling, and worried. He doesn't want to see Achia suffer. 

At the Good Friday service the line, "sorrow and love flow mingle down" spoke to me. That's what it is. Both. Jesus knew it in His death and we do too.

All we can do is be in the both right now. Praying and trusting God for mercy and peace.